benjerin.com Blog

Before you speak, ask yourself, is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence? — SAI BABA

Before you speak, ask yourself, will what I say cause damage to a relationship with people important to me? Which is more important to me; to say what I want to say, or to continue a positive relationship?

Before you speak, ask yourself, will what I’m going to say be considered a criticism? If so, shouldn’t I wait until a more suitable time and place? Shouldn’t I say it in private?

Before you speak, ask yourself, will what I plan to say bring sunshine to a dim place? Or will it bring darkness? Will it open a window of opportunity for someone or some idea? Or will it close a door in someone’s face? Will it create or kill?

Communication has consequences. You may say, “I take it back.” But you really cannot. It’s better that you don’t ‘give it’ in the first place. It’s better that you think before you speak.

(copied from http://www.communicationideas.com/internal-communication.html. this article popped into my work inbox today and it really struck a chord with some deep thoughts I was dwelling on)

Having a week off of work every month does have its down sides.  In addition to a reduced income, I don’t like these changes to my routines.  I’ve fallen out of my exercise routines and I’m feeling really lazy, I’m trying to juggle new household routines, and I can’t get into a good groove at work.  It was really hard to go back to work last week.  Combine the anxiety from my altered routines with a stressful time at work (there is an audit coming up), and crazy hormones…and I was in a serious funk.  I had such a bad day on Wednesday that I called out of work on Thursday for a “mental health day”.  I was afraid that if I went into work on Thursday, I was either going to burst into flames or burst into tears.  If I’d only had Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak then I would have gone in to work, because there is so much to catch up on.

Fortunately, Benjy is really enjoying his work life at this point.  He has been working a fair amount of overtime lately, but still really enjoys the job.  And we certainly gotta love that steady income!

Friday night we finally made it to Laci and Alan’s to watch the series finale of Battlestar Galactica.  We were both very disappointed in the finale and would love to discuss the show with anyone else who watched it.  But it was great to see Laci and Alan.

I was so looking forward to “Mexican night” with all of our Athens buddies on Saturday night.  I was in serious need of cheese dip, margaritas and laughs with friends.  Unfortunately, eight of our friends cancelled or were unable to make it in the first place, so only three of us made it out for Mexican.  I was truly disappointed that the evening I had been looking forward to had turned into something completely different.  But I ordered my cheese dip and margaritas anyway.  And I really enjoyed the more initimate visit with D.  It has been a long time since we’ve spent quality time with him.

Today was full of chores.  Benjy finished the doggie shelter, while I cut the grass and cleaned the house.  Then we both made a trip to the grocery store and spent way too much money.  Now we’re going to eat a yummy dinner and watch “Dead Like Me”.

Hopefully, I’ll be out of this funk by my next post.

I got this in an email a while back.  Is this for real?  Either way, it is still cute.

What Love means to a 4-8 year old . . ..
Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes.
A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’
Terri – age 4
‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’
Danny – age 7

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’
Bobby – age 7

‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’
Karen – age 7

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’
Mark – age 6

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’
Jessica – age 8
 

I was off of work all of last week.  I got a haircut, went to the dentist (no cavities!) and watched lots of movies.

Benjy worked 12 hour days Monday through Thursday, so he got Friday off of work.  Good thing too because he was sick. 

…but bad because I was attempting to start training for a 10K last week.  I got two runs in before I caught cooties from Benjy.  I hope to get back to training very soon, because I have challenged my boss to race in a 10K on May 2nd.  I’d really like to kick his butt come race day!

Last Thursday, we attended a Punch Brothers (featuring Chris Thile) performance at UGA.  We had never heard of this group, but I saw that it included a violin, mandolin and banjo, so I was interested…and the tickets were free.  The program described the group’s music as a combination of bluegrass, jazz and classical.  There were some pieces that were very lengthy and meandered a bit too much for our taste.  (Benjy and I actively dislike jam-band-like meandering.)  There were a number of songs, however, that we really enjoyed and we downloaded them as soon as we got home: “It’ll Happen”, “Wayside (Back in Time)”, and “Heart In a Cage” (a Strokes cover).  Check them out if you have iTunes.  I really wish I could find an mp3 recording of their song “This is the Song“.  It’s so perty!  They also encoured with an intriguing cover of a Radiohead song.  (Obi really doesn’t like this one!)  I would definitely see this band again if I had the opportunity.

(Just another sign of my sick obsession with lists.) 

This is my Bucket List.  I can’t think of a more creative name.  I’m not necessarily expecting to accomplish all of these things in my lifetime.  That would be too much pressure!  There are just so many things that I want to do/try, that I think I need a list.  I want this list to remind me to step out of my everyday routines every once in a while.  I’m sure this list will be under constant revision.

Things to Do: 

• Go Parasailing
• Ride a Jet Ski
• Rent a Houseboat with Friends
• Learn to Snowboard/Ski
• See the Aurora Borealis 
• Go Horseback Riding 
• Hike the AT
• Visit All 50 States 
• Donate Platelets 
• Go on a Cruise 
• See Rocky Horror Picture Show in the Theatre 
• Go Scuba Diving
• Sky Dive 
• Go on an African Safari 
• Swim With Dolphins 
• See a Pilobolus Performance 
• Ride in a Hot Air Balloon  
• Fly a Kite 
• Take the Puppies Swimming 
• Make Homemade Ice Cream 
• Surf 
• Drive Stick Shift
• Write Letters 
• Make Wedding Scrapbook
• See the Cherry Blossoms on the DC Mall 
• Stomp Grapes
• Run a Half Marathon
• Try to Water Ski
• Join a Bowling League
• Take a Photography Class
• Compost
• Attend “A Prarie Home Companion” Live Performance

Places to Go:

• Hawaii
• New Zealand
• Australia
• Ireland
• Niagara Falls
• Las Vegas
• California
• Oregon
• Colorado
• New York City
• Alaska 
• Grand Canyon 
• Costa Rica 
     

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”

~Mark Twain 

by Richard Lederer (from “Funny Times”, April 2009)

Live for the moment.  Enjoy the simple things in life, like taking a long walk or riding in a car and feeling the wind blowing on your face.

Take time to stop and eat the roses.

Trust your instincts.

Go barefoot.

If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you’ll get what you want.

Don’t go out without ID.

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Be direct with people, let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.

When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.

Listen respectfully to what others have to stay.

Be aware of when to hold your tongue and when to use it.

Master the art of stretching.

Run barefoot, romp, and play daily.  Leave yourself breathless at least once a day.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

Know all the sunny places.

Life is hard, and then you nap.

Sneeze unabashedly.

Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

Make your mark on the world as much as you can.

When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you’re dragged out from under the bed).

If it’s not wet and sloppy, it’s not a real kiss.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body

To err is human; to forgive canine.

No matter how often you’re scolded, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout.  Run right back and make friends.

Lucky Dogs

Here are a dozen reasons why it’s great to be a dog.

• Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner, or anything else for that matter.
• When it’s raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.
• If it itches, you can reach it.  And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public.
• No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older.
• You don’t have to worry about table manners – and there’s no such thing as bad food.
• If you put on weight, it’s somebody else’s fault.
• Who needs a big home entertainment system? A bone or an old shoe or a peanut butter jar can entertain you for hours.
• You can spend hours just smelling stuff – and everything smells good.
• It doesn’t take much to make you happy.  You’re always excited to see the same old people.  All they have to do is leave the room for five minutes and come back.
• April 15th means nothing to you.
• You can sleep late every day.
• You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger’s lap.

(As I type this, Oz is snoring, Obi is sleeping on my feet and Keena is falling off the dog bed.  My dogs bring so much joy to my life and they make me laugh at least once a day.  I really wish I could be more like them sometimes.)

Things really warmed up last week and I spent a fair amount of time finding household chores that I could do outdoors…mow the lawn, fill the bird feeders, clean the car, etc.  I’m also enjoying sitting in the backyard and watching the puppies play.  Golly, they play rough! 

This weekend we had a special treat.  Friday night our friend Catherine came to town for a visit.  We hadn’t seen her in almost a year and we got to meet her new beau, Scott.  Jessica also joined in for the visit.  We tried a new sushi restaurant and had a couple of beers at Trappeze.  Saturday morning, we had brunch at The Grit, then Catherine and Scott had to head out of town.  We had a happy surprise when Jess decided to stick around for another night.  Benjy started working on the dog shelter in the backyard and Jessica and I went for a walk on the Greenway and played some badminton.  We decided to grill out for dinner and watch a movie, Grosse Pointe Blank.  After the movie we were all sleepy but we stuck it out for another couple of hours playing the Quantum Leap Drinking Game.

Sunday morning, Jess and I had an early brunch before she headed home.  Then I lounged around in the backyard to catch up on magazine reading, alternating between sun and shade while Benjy worked some more on the doggie shelter.  We grilled out again for dinner.  We finally ate our first meal from the freezer full of pig, pork chops.

This week I am off of work because we are shutdown again due to slow business.  I have plans to find a happy balance between productivity and relaxation.  Wish me luck.

To end on a very grumpy note: I am suffering from some pretty severe neighbor-hatred right now.  When Jessica was leaving on Sunday morning we noticed a new and quite sizeable dent in her car which had been parked on the street.  By the looks of it, someone backing out of the driveway across the street hit her car.  These are the same obnoxious neighbors that let their dogs run free all over the neighborhood to torment all the other dogs that are properly fenced in.  Our next-door neighbors had a very loud cookout last night with plenty of screeching children in attendance.  I could put up with this on occasion IF it wasn’t for the fact that I always find chicken bones in my yard after their cookouts.  Despite the controversy on just how dangerous chicken bones can be for a dog, I’d rather play it safe…and NOT have someone elses trash (of any kind) making it’s way into my yard!  What I wouldn’t give to just pick up the house and move to a bigger lot…where I can’t hear or see my neighbors.  As I sit in the backyard and type this, I’m listing to yet another neighbor’s very hoarse non-stop barking dog and watching the dogs from across the street living it up in the next-door neighbor’s trash can.  Ack!  I’m going to try to fight off my inner-curmudgeon.  Any suggestions?

Since I have decided not to workout at all for the last few weeks, I have a lot more time on my hands  I’m in love with my home right now, mostly because it is abnormally clean.  Our house has been “presentable” (by my standards) for two straight weeks now.  That is some sort of record.  I’ve really enjoyed coming home from work, catching up on my magazines and watching all the hungry birdies around the feeders outside of our living room window.  A pretty pleasant alternative to being sweaty inside the gym with no windows. 

Keeping the house in this condition, however, requires a good bit of maintenance during the week because we are some perpetually messy folk!  And once the cleaning is done, all these “projects” come to light, such as reorganizing our bathroom.  It had been a frightening pile of toiletries, jewelry and first aid supplies for a long time.  Now it is so clean and organized, that I could just sit and stare at the shelves for hours….but I won’t

Also in the domestic arena, I’m really looking forward to getting back into the habit of cooking more meals at home.  I purchased half of a pig from a co-worker friend last week.  This was a first for me.  I’ve always bought my meat from the grocery store and I had no idea what to expect from half of a pig.  Thank goodness my friend took care of the processing and thank goodness Benjy’s keg-refridgerator came with a functional (and empty!) freezer.  It is now full to the brim with processed pig.  Assuming that we will NOT eat pork every night, I think we have enough to last us at least a year.  So if anyone out there has some terrific recipes for pork chops, pork roast or pork sausage, then please share!  And now that the house is “presentable” maybe we should have some dinner parties?!

I really, really, really, really, really need to get back into regular workouts.  Yesterday I went to a 5K that I had registered for a few weeks ago.  I really didn’t want to go, but since I had paid the money I felt like I should at least go pick up my t-shirt. (Christy had something come up and couldn’t make it, so I wanted to pick up her t-shirt for her too.)  I arrived at the race fully expecting to walk the entire thing.  I hadn’t run in two months and hadn’t worked out at all in the past two weeks.  I couldn’t resist the urge to run down the first hill because it seemed like it would be easier than walking.  At the bottom of the hill I decided to test myself to see how much further I could go.  I think I went about a mile before I had to stop to walk up a big hill.  I switched between walking and running for the rest of the race.  I felt so out of shape!  My legs are really sore today and I imagine that they’ll feel even worse tomorrow.

My delima right now is how to find a balance.  How do I maintain my clean and organized house, prepare healthy meals every other night, keep up with regular workouts, enjoy a decent social life, keep up with my to-do list and maybe, just maybe, make time for a little bit of relaxation???  Any ideas???  The most obvious one to me is that I probably need to get rid of the internet and television, but I don’t see that happening.  My first thought is that I might actually have to put a limit on the number of days that I workout.  In the past, I have always aimed for 5 days a week at the gym and it kind of consumes my life.  This time I think I’m going to start by aiming for only 3 days a week.  I also plan to focus even more on keeping variety in my workouts.  I’m craving yoga and I also want to do more outdoor workouts now that the sun is up later and things are warming up.  On the days that I’m not working out, I’ll focus on cooking and cleaning around the house, which will keep me active and moving (a less intense workout, if you will).  Anyway, that is my plan for now.  I’d really appreciate any ideas, advice, suggestions, etc.

P.S.  My weekly updates are way too long. 

It has been three weeks since I last posted.  Whoa!

First, let me just get the health stuff out of the way.  I am up 4 pounds in the last 3 weeks.  Honestly, with the way I have been eating, and with the little exercise that I have gotten, I’m surprised I’m not up 10 pounds.  I have fallen off the wagon.  Actually, I pretty much dove head first off of the wagon.  I think it all started with my bronchitis.  The sickness brought all my healthy habits to a screeching hault.  With me, it is one extreme or another.  I’m either super gung-ho with my diet and exercise or I’m a super-junk-food-eating-couch-potato.  I can’t seem to find the middle ground.  I’m trying to savor this “break” as I hope to be climbing back on the wagon in the next week or so.  In the meantime I’m really enjoying some leisure time around the house, playing with my puppies and catching up on reading.

Now on to the highlights from the last three weeks.

• Laci’s birthday.  Several of our Athenian friends got together for dinner at Rusan’s to celebrate Laci’s day.  What’s not to like about good friends and good sushi?
• We got together with some co-worker-friends for dinner and a show.  We tried a new restaurant…eh, nothing special.  Then we saw a local theatre company’s performance of Cabaret.  We had seen the movie several months back, but it was cool to see it live on stage.  Afterwards we went to The Grill for milkshakes. Yum!
• I was off of work for an entire week because of a plantwide shutdown due to a lack of orders.  I tried to be productive, but in a laid back sort of way.  For example, I copied a lot of our CD library to our iTunes library.  I ran a few errands and I also accomplished a long-overdue heavy-duty cleaning of our house.
• The cleaning was completed just in time for a visit from Jessica and Angela.  Friday night we visited a few of our favorite bars.  Saturday morning we went to a spin class together at Georgia Cycle.  I was so happy that my friends wanted to spin with me!
• Saturday evening, I got together with some high school buddies (Jessica, Angela, Leslie and Laurel) for a slumber party.  We went out for dinner and a few drinks.  Then we went back to Laurel’s house for girl talk, ghost stories, dancing and board games.  We all crashed in the same room, sleeping bags and all.  It was fantastic and we really need to do it again some time!
• Sunday…it snowed in Georgia!  The forecasters had predicted the snow, but I didn’t believe it would actually happen.  Well, I was really wrong.  It snowed somewhere around 6 inches at our house.  Benjy and I had a snowball fight, caught snowflakes on our tongues and enjoyed watching the puppies’ first frolick in the snow.
• Monday, all local schools and most business were closed due to the snow.  Benjy was off.  My company, however, “never closes” (due to weather).  Fortunately, Benjy and his 4WD truck got me to work safely.  Only 12 out of about 80 employees made it to work on time that day.  By the end of the day, only 30 people had made it to work.
• Friday, I bought tickets for Benjy and I to go to Brewgrass.  The festival is not until September, but I’m so excited already!  So far we’ve got a group of 10 planning to attend.
• Benjy has been working some serious overtime in the past couple of weeks.  Even with the snow day off of work, he clocked 47 hours last week!  This experience as site lead seems to be going really well though and we are happy for that.
• A week after the snow, we had 75 to 80 degree weather here.  Benjy and I tried to spend as much time in our backyard as possible.  Benjy is building a shelter for the doggies.  I supervised and read to Benjy while he built.  I can’t wait for the doggies to finally have some solid shelter from the rain.  I’ll post pictures when Benjy is finished with his masterpiece.

Well, that is all for now.  I am working on uploading, editing and captioning all of our photos for December, January and February.  I’ll post as each month is completed.

Is anybody else shocked at how fast this year is flying by?!

Since I have been sick the entire past week I have not worked out at all.  I have walked during my breaks at work, but I don’t really consider that to be a workout anymore.  I’m really bummed about missing an entire week of workouts.  And since I’ve felt so bummed, and so sorry for myself, I’ve completely abandoned my rules of what-to-eat and what-not-to-eat.  I’ve been comforting myself with food.  I’m completely shocked to have gained ONLY one pound this week.  Even though I’m starting to feel a lot better, I have a very busy few days ahead of me, putting even more of a delay on when I’ll get back to the gym.  I’m just looking forward to taking advantage of having next week off of work, so I can catch up on exercise.